


we drifted.

by faketyran



Series: Probably Not Canon? [4]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Canon Backstory, Depression, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Foreshadowing, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:26:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21636403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faketyran/pseuds/faketyran
Summary: to hell with that fire, right?
Relationships: Ari Hierra-Vance/Colton de La Rosa, Ari Hierra-Vance/Erin Mazur, Erin Mazur/Anastasia Antaya, Human Male Hunter/Human Male Hunter, Male Guardian/Male Guardian (Destiny)
Series: Probably Not Canon? [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1167230
Kudos: 1





	we drifted.

_ “How long have you been alive for, Erin?” _

_ The Bladedancer's question echoed in the silence of the Shrine of Oryx. The question seemed to stir the corpse of Sardok, who was mere meters away from the two Hunters. In an instant, Erin pulled the trigger on his Imago Loop, sending a bullet straight into the Knight's skull. The corpse stilled. A weak chuckle escaped the Gunslinger, followed by a pained groan. _

_ "Never expect them to be one hundred percent dead until you've put a couple hundred bullets into their skulls, Ari." Erin murmured, inhaling sharply as the Bladedancer peeled off Erin's Watchers' Grips. The armor scraped against the gashes on his arm, bringing forth a wave of agony. He grimaced and tensed in pain, tears daring to fall from pain. _

_ "Shit, fuck, I didn't mean to-" _

_ "It's fine, Ari, just -- clean them up." Erin rasped out. Never before had Thrall torn through his armor, nor did he know they had  _ poison  _ on their claws. At least the ones in the Shrine did.  _

_ The Bladedancer nodded, cleaning away the blood and grime with the disinfectant he'd brought along. Erin let out a scream at the agony that soared in his arm. Down the tears fell and he sobbed, shuddering and jerking in Ari's grip. But the Bladedancer held strong, a strained look on his face. _

_ "Almost in your bloodstream. Almost." Ari spoke, deathly quiet. "Your damn Ghost should've said to hell with conserving Light--" The Hunter's words turned into a snarl, "--and should've at least healed  _ that. _ "  _

_ "W-well no use getting upset over...over it now, Ari…" Erin breathed out, sniffling and wiping away his tears with his free arm. His head thrummed with pain and exhaustion, daring to force him into unconsciousness at any moment. The pain in his arm had slowly ebbed away to a dull stabbing by that point, somewhat bearable.  _

_ "Well maybe if your piece of shit Ghost actually gave a damn--" _

_ "Don't say another fucking word, Ari. Say anything, and I swear I will skin you alive." The Gunslinger growled, fire in his viridescent eyes. The Bladedancer grimaced and dropped his gaze back down to the wound, silence filling the Shrine once again. _

_ "You never answered my question." Ari mumbled once he had moved onto the gash on the lower right side Erin's jaw. It wasn't as severe as the one on his arm. This one was shallow. _

_ "What?" Erin mumbled. He'd calmed down, the flames eased to cinders.  _

_ "How long have you been alive for?" _

_ Erin considered his question as Ari cleaned the wound, wincing slightly in pain. How long  _ had  _ he been alive for? The Gunslinger studied Ari, taking in the Bladedancer. His soft, warm, taupe skin, his gentle, gray-blue eyes, his slight smile as he concentrated; breathtaking. He took in his features and savored the moment; with time, those things would harden and fade with what he would endure. It was what happened to every Guardian.  _

_ The Gunslinger dropped his gaze down to the Bladedancer's shoulders and chest, reminiscing over the past few years. He'd been revived just shy of a decade after Twilight Gap, so..."I've been alive for forty years, give or take a few. Why do you ask?" _

_ Ari hesitated, and then shrugged. "Just...wondering, I guess. Wanted to know how many years it took to get to your experience."  _

_ Erin shook his head at that. "No, no, you've got it wrong, Ari. I haven't been fighting for that long. I started taking these things seriously only about three years ago. Before then, I did odd jobs here and there for money when I needed to. I was…" The Hunter trailed off with some hesitation. "I had some mental problems. I had no sense of empathy, compassion, nothing. I...didn't have the right human emotions. Wasn't fit to fight." Erin gave a shrug, shuddering at the wave of pain that rushed through his arm. "When I...did get those feelings back, however the hell I did, I still wasn't right. Hallucinations and nightmares plagued me for decades until I decided to finally go to therapy." Erin kept his eyes down as Ari tried to meet his gaze. "So then after a few years of that, I finally was fit to fight. Which is exactly what I did. Gave me a sense of purpose for the first time in my life. Not to mention, gave me the best fucking release of Light ever. You don't want to know what thirty-some years of Light build-up feels like. But that release? Goddamn, that felt fucking  _ amazing." 

_ "Sounds like you're describing an orgasm after not getting off for years." Ari said with a snort. The Bladedancer had finished with his wounds by then and was gazing at Erin with...affection. Love. _

_ Erin smirked, "Felt even better than an orgasm." _

_ "Ohh, maybe I won't use my Light for a few years then, test out how that feels." Ari grinned, shuffling closer to the Gunslinger. He gently rested his head on his shoulder, arms loosely wrapping around the other Hunter. "But...maybe I'll stick here with you. I bet that'll feel even better than that."  _

_ Erin shifted against Ari, making the two more comfortable against the destroyed Shrine. The Gunslinger gently reached up, fingers combing through the Bladedancer's thick, dark chestnut locks. Again, he took in the Hunter in his arms. Erin was almost an alabaster pale, a sharp contrast to Ari's warm and taupe skin. Erin's hair was dark, an ebony-like brown. They seemed to contrast against each other just enough to not quite be polar opposites. _

_ Different. So different. Not a lot in common. Even the way they reacted to things -- never similar, never alike. To anger, Erin would breathe, rationalize and accept it. Ari would suffocate, thrash, and reject it. His anger was explosive and volatile, and a fatal threat whenever he decided to use his Solar Light.  _

_ That anger -- that was what kept Erin away.  _

_ "Don't you have Colton?" The Gunslinger breathed out, clearing his mind of his thoughts. The Bladedancer shook his head at the comment, but didn't elaborate any further. "C'mon, Ari, don't...don't do this to me."  _

_ "Fine. I don't…I don't really know what Colton and I are." Ari murmured, the lie clear in his eyes. "But I know right now, I want you, Erin." _

_ To hell with that fire. _

Erin bristled at the memory. He'd been a fool to accept that fire. A fool then and a fool now, he realized as he approached the Bladedancer in the Tower. Was it that hard for him to stay away after all these years? Was it that hard for him to realize that he had just been a filler for Colton? 

"Ari?"

The Bladedancer tensed, slowly turning from the Vault to face him. His expression was unreadable as Erin met his eyes. Ari wore no armor, just normal, everyday clothes. Odd.

Erin gripped on the datapad in his hand as he stared into the eyes of the man he'd once loved. The man he had loved before he met Anastasia, the man who knew their love was fading when she stepped into the picture. Guilt welled in the Hunter's throat -- they had both drifted apart once she had stepped in, Erin to her and Ari to Colton. They never had gotten closure, never truly ended their relationship. 

But now that Anastasia was dead, a hollow feeling had occupied his chest.

"Erin? What are you doing here?" Neutral, distant.

Erin's guilt surged to his throat at the lack of emotion in his voice. Oh how he wished to hear the tenderness and love in his voice again. No--that was a lie. He wanted Anastasia back, he wanted his  _ love _ back. Deep down he knew Ari would never, ever fill that hole back up. He just wanted the comfort of human touch -- not Ari.

Even still, he couldn't help but notice the engagement ring he wore.

"I was just picking up some odds and ends up. But, I got an offer, one I...I can't take," his voice cracked, the reason why flooding his mind.  _ She's dead she's dead she's dead it's your fault you can't do anything with your Light anymore you're fucking useless and you want nothing more to kill yourself because it's. Your. Fault.  _ "-so I was...was going to offer it to you. You're...you're the only one I know who would want something like this." 

"What is it?" The Hunter didn't seem to care about Erin's sudden influx of emotions. If he did, he kept it to himself.

"Vanguard thing, not a lot of info. Venus, Vault of Glass. Guardians have been going in and vanishing without a trace. They want a whole raid squad to go and investigate," Erin inhaled, still reeling from the influx of emotions. "I...can't do it. Don't have the people to do it. But I know you do."

Ari nodded to the datapad in Erin's hand. "Give me the info. I'll consider it, see what Seraph and her squad are doing. Elaine and Colton will want to do this, I know that."

Erin handed it off without a word. After Ari glanced over it, the Gunslinger spoke, "But what about you?"

"...I'll consider it."


End file.
